The Art of Conversation
There is an art to conversation but the desire needs to be there first.
I cannot understand why people aren’t able to talk with one another anymore. It’s not that they can’t, but more akin to they have no interest. Perhaps they don’t know how to engage either. People no longer wish to have actual real life conversations it seems. Perhaps we’ve become to lazy to bother. Society, especially American society, has become so self serving and vapid that we don’t feel the need to engage unless the person is rich and famous or can provide a service to us.
Paris is actually a quite friendly city. In Paris conversations are a necessity. Without opening exchanges one will receive a cold response or be ignored altogether. It’s important to say hello, ask how that person is and to also say goodbye or have a good day or evening. Building a relationship is important. Without the pleasantries it’s impossible to fit in or find the comfort and joy Paris has to offer.
As I was purchasing our evening tradition and a vanilla cake to go with the fresh berries and homemade chantilly cream I had whipped up for the evening meal, I overheard two gentleman speaking English with a distinct American accent. I had stepped outside of the bakery to choose my cake of choice. I said hello and asked where they were from. They looked at me as if I had several heads and breathing fire. Reluctantly they said New York and LA. They were dressed they way people come to Paris believing that’s how one should dress. Parisians dress well not extravagantly… unless it’s an event. That’s an entirely different story. After a very brief exchange ( I was summoned back into the bakery to finish my transaction) the two vanished. How sad for them. Missed opportunity on their part. Taking selfies was more important than meeting someone new.
Through random conversations, Pierre and I have met some wonderful characters in our neighborhood and beyond. Pierre’s friends have nicknamed him the mayor of the Marais. He knows most of the locals that frequent the pubs and cafes in our neighborhood. We make up names for the people that we see daily. We always say hello every time that we see them. Pierre will often have a small coffee or beer with the old men that are always standing at the bar when he gets off the bus or metro after work. Once, when we had decided to have a drink at The George, we met the neighbors of Tina Turner who were on holiday here from Switzerland. One of Pierre’s friends is a well know balladeer from the same era as his grandparents. Apparently he’s quite the character. Another of his acquaintances used to do drag.
As a story teller engaging with strangers is necessary. My daughter says I talk to everybody. But, that is where the inspiration and ideas happen. Sometimes my stories are their stories told my way. People!!! Please! Don’t be afraid to have conversations. You’ll be surprised whom you may meet! Life is far to short. Individually we really aren’t that interesting. It’s the real life exchanges that make us so. Now… who wants to meet for a coffee at the neighborhood café?
